I am a Succulence Revolutionary.

My revolution is also yours. Deep down inside, we KNOW things in the world are not as they should be…. this is also true for our current relationship with our Erotic Nature.

Children need to be loved so fully that their environment is one that anchors in deep trust and erotic innocence.

Young women and men need to be loved so fiercely that their uncertainty and internal chaos does not play out through attempts to mimic a culture that is based on equally both sexploitation and sexual repression.

Women and men need to be loved so completely that whatever wounds and misconstrued ideas they carry about sexuality does not influence the true insight of their heart merging with their erotic intelligence, and thus preventing their erotic nature to find its true place in their lives.

Our Erotic Nature will never go away.

It is an essential part of being human. We can fear it, imprison it, abuse it, and attempt to kill it, but it still it persists. It persists as it must since it is our very wildness and—like the wildness of this world—it is being exploited, raped, pillaged, and mismanaged.

Even now, as new and revolutionary ideas emerge to co-create a new ‘sustainable’ world, this ‘new’ world will not function if at its foundation there is deep shame and pain about our very nature as creative beings.

Sex isn’t just about having sex. Sex is a part of us as natural as breathing and as consistent as the beating of our heart.

As we move forward with claiming our lives in their totality, we are wise to include this part of ourselves, we are wise to hold it in a space of deep respect and appreciation, and we are wise to be willing to do what it takes to ensure its natural maturation and evolution.

This world needs a Succulence Revolution.

The longing we have for lush nature, for open, trusting hearts, for beauty that nourishes our parched soul, for all that is vibrating with deep passion… this longing speaks to our longing for Succulence. This is the unnoticed, yet essential current of life that makes life worthy of being lived.

It is worthy of our attention.

It is our birthright.

When I think of my ancestors and all they had to go through just to survive, I wonder if they had time for pleasure? When looking back through time, I found a Greek Myth that touched me: the birth story of pleasure.

This is a story of Ancient Gods and Goddesses, yet they speak to our human journey. This story begins with the Goddess of Love & Beauty, Aphrodite herself. It is said that she was the mother of Eros—the God of Intimate love and Erotic playfulness.

Love gives birth to the Erotic.

As the story goes, there was a woman of such beauty that Aphrodite herself became jealous and sent Eros to curse her. However, when Eros laid eyes on Psyche (Soon to become the Goddess of the Soul), he fell in love, wrapped her in his arms, and flew away with her. Because Eros forgot to tend to the world, he left it without Erotic influence and thus, no living creature felt drawn to connect and all became lifeless.

We need Eros to feel alive, free, and creative!

Thankfully, our story does not end here! Both Eros and Psyche undergo deep initiatory processes which enables them to be reunited forever. This potent union of Eros (our erotic nature) and Psyche (our human soul) gives birth to a daughter: Hedone—the spirit of enjoyment, pleasure, and delight. This journey of reunitng these two aspects of ourselves, our Erotic nature and deep Soul, may at times feel painful, difficult, or lifeless. Yet this task is an essential ingredient to experiencing true sexual liberation and fulfillment in our lives.

I am an advocate of wholesome, natural, and delicious! And when it comes to our beauty and vitality, I am deeply interested in simple, affordable, and effective (did I say yummy?) solutions! If there was one thing you could do that would:

• promote weight loss
• enhance your digestion
• clean your blood (radiant skin!)
• calm your nerves
• is a natural antioxidant
• is said to help remove plaque & whiten teeth
• assist your body in attaining a more alkaline pH (more succulence!)
• help your body eliminate ‘bad estrogen’ (16-hydroxyesterone)

So what does all this AND tastes delicious? LEMONS!!!! Lemons are not only a great immune support (source of Vitamin C), but also are a fantastic digestive aid and internal cleanser! “…limonene now is considered by some researchers to be a significant chemopreventive agent with potential value as a dietary anti-cancer tool in humans.” – Crowell PL (March 1999) & Tsuda H, Ohshima Y, Nomoto H, et al. (August 2004).

Recipes for Gorgeous Vitality:

1. Before breakfast, squeeze a fresh, organic lemon (1/2) into a glass of warm water.

2. Instead of soda, try some lemon in sparkling water for an afternoon pick-up.

3. Add the zest of an organic lemon to your food to benefit from its Limonene content!

In the first two posts about Taoist & Tantric Wisdom we had a look at whether or not we were actually ‘hiding’ out in ’spiritual’ practice, how ‘practices’ in of themselves do not necessarily elicit or guarantee a ’spiritual’ experience within the realm of sexuality, and how puritanical beliefs still undermine our erotic intelligence. Hopefully with a bigger picture, we can explore the proper context for Neo-Tantric and Neo-Taoist practices and choose the positive and useful aspects of their offerings.

If we are clear within ourselves about what motivates us to desire shameless, integrated, transcended living through the conscious practice of harnessing life force energy, then we already know not to look to the actual practices for ‘liberation’. Some practices, when used appropriately and with understanding, can actually help us regain a mind-body connection while supporting our body’s natural rejuvenating capacities. Why would a refined mind-body connection be essential to healthy sexuality?

“First, social dictates and double standards of sexual etiquette may discourage women from attending to or verbally acknowledging genital cues.”1

Thus, one of the crucial and helpful benefits of particular practices is to rebuild the connection between what is actually happening in the pelvis with one’s conscious awareness whilst breaking free of old sexual paradigms.

Another benefit of practice is increased sensitivity to the subtle. The more a person slows down and feels, the more they develop their capacity to sense the subtle within their body. This is where we start to tap into our omni-orgasmic birthright: the ability for every single cell to vibrate with life and our ability to sense this as a living pleasure regardless of external circumstances. This state of being is innate within all of us, yet through various, powerful imprints, most of us do not remember this connection and therefore a degree of practice is needed to recreate this connection.

Pelvic and sexual health is another profound benefit of practice. Women who apply themselves have been able to reverse stress incontinence (even those originally scheduled for surgery), dissolve scar tissue, return to a ‘pre-birth’ state post child-birth , innervate their sexual organs to the point of having exquisite sensation where before there was either pain or numbness, deepen their own self-regard and self-acceptance, live by their deep, inner wisdom, heal old traumas around their body, and thus, gift this to their partner, family, community, and the world, in the form of conscious and enlivened living.

1. The Enhancing Effects of Anxiety on Arousal in Sexually Dysfunctional and Functional Women by Eileen M. Palace and Boris B. Gorzalka

Photo generously donated by Laetitia Walther

Have the powerful influences of our early sexual revolution combined with the broader acceptance and integration of both Taoist & Tantric ideals allowed our erotic intelligence and spiritual evolution to blossom or are we still facing the same paradigms of polarity, dogma, and stigma when it comes to our sexuality? Does easy and affordable accessibility of neo-Taoist & neo-Tantric teachings actually assist us to grasp the deeper meaning of our erotic nature or is this a contributor to our continued sexual frustrations?

A common theme found within neo-Tantric and neo-Taoist books and seminars is the concept that their practices help to bring the ’spiritual component’ into sexual partnership, and thus, are responsible for creating more ‘enlightened’ and ‘transcendent’ sexual connection. This misunderstanding is often what is behind the common statement: “I want a spiritual lover and I won’t settle for less.” In fact, extensive research shows that people who have never heard of Tantra or Tao have transcendent sexual experiences.

“Transcendent sex isn’t dependent upon spiritual expertise: atheists and agnostics are as apt to be swept away as devout believers or accomplished contemplatives.” - Jenny Wade, Ph.D

What exactly is a ’spiritual lover’? Is it a lover that goes through the motions of a spiritual practice—has their spiritual mojo down—yet is no more evolved than the neighbor who’s never heard of spiritual practice? Is it a lover versed in the Tantric or Taoist bedroom arts? Or is it a lover that is conscious in the sense of being deep awake? Looking to spiritualize sex in order to make it ‘holy’ and ‘clean’ can only come from a distorted perception of sexuality, one that assumes that sex, in of itself, is ’sinful’ and ‘of lower energy’.

It does not take much to see that we, in the West, still suffer from strong, underlying tones of puritanical influence that still creeps into the so called ’spiritual’ realm. Even if we, ourselves, feel free from such constrictive attitudes about sexuality, we do not live in a society that is at home with our erotic nature. It is amazing how many women who are engaged in yoga, Tantra, and Taoist practices still succumb to breasts enlargements and/or labial reconstructive surgery! Clearly we must consider deep social conditioning and what it is we are truly seeking prior to fantasizing that neo-Tantric/neo-Taoist wisdom will free us from our conundrum.

Do we really need Eastern philosophies to become ‘deep awake’ or ‘conscious’ in our sexual relationship? Clearly not, however, practices do have their place. Deep insight does not require any special ritual, it does require the willingness to peer into our own veils, to question deeply our current perceptions, and to free ourselves of our burdens through practicing self-inquiry and revealing ourselves in our totality.

There are few of us today that have not heard the words Tao or Tantra, yet how many of us understand their true meaning? For the most part, Tao generally conjures up the mystical ideas of Lao Tzu, may be some Tai chi comes to mind along with what is considered to be the more dry and pragmatic approach to sexuality. As for Tantra, at its worst, it has been hijacked by commerce of sexuality—blatant prostitution and pornography—which attempt to use Tantra as their shop-front. At its best, Tantra is promoted as a ’spiritual’, ‘higher’, or  more ‘healing’ sexual modality. Often, they end up representing our own polarized version of sexuality, albeit the ‘dry-intellectual-keep it non-erotic’ approach to the ‘out-there, full-on erotic’ approach. Unfortunately, these common misconceptions do not lend any true insight to the depth and breath of these ancient traditions!

If we were to look beyond the surface and trace the roots of Tao & Tantra, we would astonishingly find that most of the ancient scriptures make no mention the types of explicit sexual teachings that modern Taoist and Tantric schools advocate. What is worthy of noting is that these exotic eastern ‘teachings’ came to the West during the period of our sexual revolution (’60’s & 70’s), which resulted in the birth of neo-Taoist & neo-Tantric schools. We were hungry for something new, something beautiful, something that could bring us to a place where we could break free of deeply ingrained puritanical perspectives. What we failed to recognize is that our subconscious was still (and is still) deeply influenced by puritanical ideals.

This is a crucial point to consider when we embark on our ‘quest for sacred sex’. Often, we end up projecting our desperate need for a ‘new, healthy, spiritual sexuality’ onto these ancient traditions. The combination of unrealistic ideals mixed in with a deep need for a personal sexual revolution and mis-use of powerful practices is the perfect fuel to ignite and amplify our psychological imbalances and mis-perception whilst imprisoning our natural, erotic intelligence into more dogma & mental constructs.

To experience true insight and liberation in the realm of our own erotic nature, we must step back and examine ourselves beyond social constructs, adopted beliefs, and unquestioned ’spiritual-sexual’ teachings.

In our so-called evolved and educated times, why is it the most couples suffer from sexual dullness? How is it that the statistics of happy, sexually satisfied women is still so low? Currently, we are still invested in keeping our Madonna/Whore pendulum swinging without once wondering what would happen if we relaxed and became curious about what lies at the core of this polarity. We live in a world that has been socially shaped for a very long time. So much so that we have forgotten our primal roots and have fallen into the stupor of domestication. Most would argue that this evolution from our ancestral wildness has been for the better. Yet this very movement away from our instinctual nature is one of the reason’s we suffer from sexual apathy .

Although relationships do blossom and mature emotionally, it seems to be the rare one which simultaneously blossoms and matures sexually. For the most part, the closer and more secure we feel in our relationships, the more sexually uninspired we become! It is interesting to notice that the very thing we require to feel fully open, alive, and satiated sexually is the very thing we fear and work so hard to repress!

“A healthy sense of erotic entitlement is built on a relaxed, generous, and unencumbered attitude toward the pleasures of the body—something our puritan culture continues to grapple with.” —Esther Perel

When we step out of our pendulum’s swing, we come to a place where sexuality and deep intimacy meet, finding ourselves face to face with our own deep, sexual freedom. Through the unabashed union of our erotic intelligence and emotional sovereignty, we may perpetually experience our most profound pleasure and awakening.

With a million and one ways to care for ourselves and our health, it is normal to feel overwhelmed by the abundance of choices or to feel jaded through having tried many methods, but never fully completing any. Simplicity is not often associated with our advanced technological life, in fact, we have become highly adept with complexity! Our relationships, work situations, and living situations have (d)evolved into new levels of complexity that challenge the best of us!

So what can we do that is simple, easy, and effective in helping us feel intensely alive and juicy? Reconnect with the Earth! Taking off our shoes and placing our skin in direct contact with the ’skin’ of the Earth is not only tremendously healing, it also can be quite sensual! Our feet have thousands of nerve endings that are highly attuned to the ‘electric’ nature of the ground which allows us to have a synergistic and sensual relationship with the Earth.

Recent studies have revealed that spending 20+ minutes ‘grounding’ (connected skin to skin with the Earth) allows our body to discharge all the toxicity we absorb from appliances, computers, cell phones, Wifi, etc, and thus, we reset our body to a state of vitality! The more frequently we do this, the more results we get.  And the best part is that it feels exceptionally yummy and it’s FREE!

The time of the year where we turn our attention to love, yet every moment of our life is an invitation to such awareness! Whether single or coupled, the true questions are:

• What is the quality of our primary relationship (with ourselves)?
• How revealed are we, both personally and relationally?
• Do we have profound respect for ourselves and others?
• Is love really that necessary for our experience as humans?

These questions invite a deeper investigation into the subject of love and stimulate our own innate wisdom about the subject. Love is the feeling of being connected. This sense of belonging distinguishes all thriving people, and from a purely scientific view, is at the core of our well being. Not only does it influence our own physiology to properly function, but also is essential for the full blossoming and maturing of our emotional nature. How we love is a reflection of both how we were loved (imprint from our parents and others) and of how we continue to choose to love.

What does your loving style say about you? Do you recognize that each day you are either affirming the past or creating anew? What do you yearn for with love? Getting the love we want beings when we experience profound respect for ourselves (and thus, naturally for others), we are able to take the risks necessary to be fully revealed, both to ourselves and others. This ‘nakedness’ can often induce feelings of vulnerability, yet is the essential ingredient to fully living a deep, magnificent love!

Love sees our story, as well as beyond it, and loves us anyways. It is both the healing salve upon our wounds and the inspiration to take risks to explore what is invigorating and thoroughly alive! So what is the secret ingredient to experiencing our deepest love right now? It is remarkably simple: a willing heart … how willing is your heart?